Gay Santa snogging Square

You’re literally shouting at a gay Santa… Stop it!

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LIKE ANYONE ELSE young enough to know how streaming works and sufficiently tech savvy to install an ad blocker on my browser, I don’t encounter much TV advertising. In fact, the technology available means that I only really come into contact with it when someone gets all huffy about it; and recently there’s been enough huff going around to make any number of little pigs permanently homeless.

Whether it’s strident lefties, and their evil mirror universe uptight prude counterparts, getting their boxers in a bunch over a John Lewis ad for insurance starring a little boy in a dress making a mess – or that funny Family Guy short on the virtues of vaccination that had the anti-vaxx crowd trying to overdose on horse dewormer, nothing seems to annoy some folks like when they feel they’re being preached to and sold to at the same time.

The latest example of this odd phenomenon concerns a commercial for the Norwegian Postal Service (seriously) which shows Santa kissing an age-appropriate man with the message that the people who deliver junk mail in Norway think it’s a good idea that people can fall in love with whoever they see fit. Cue the outrage machine creaking and clanking into high gear! From a rather odd cacophony of screeching on Talk Radio to a cringeworthy appearance by Darren Grimes on GB News, indignant claims abounded that the advert was “sexualising Santa” and that this was the wrong thing to start doing.

So, because I’m a glutton for this kind of stuff and know how to clear my internet history, I decided to have a look at some other examples of sexy Santas and find out just how recent the concern over his presumably burgeoning sack (I’m so sorry) is…

Way back in 1953, erstwhile Catwoman in the massively underrated Batman series and musical legend, Eartha Kitt released “Santa Baby”, a song that has since been covered by the likes of Michael Buble, Madonna, Kylie, and Taylor Swift, and is, essentially, a sexy Christmas list.

In Kitt’s version, very much the definitive one, the singer calls herself “an awful good girl”, rolls out a long list of gifts she’s after in a suggestive tone, and finishes by urging Mr Claus to “hurry down the chimney tonight.” It’s a wonderful song, dripping in naughtiness, and, if it weren’t for the The Pouges and Mariah Carey, would be the single best festive tune around. However, my point is… we’ve been sexualising Santa for some time.

Moreover, and this is how I go above and beyond for my readers… both of you, a quick Google will disabuse anyone of the notion that turning Santa sexy is anything like limited to an advert or even a recent trope. Searching for “sexy Santa outfit” returns pages upon pages of the kind of images that make the searcher hope that nobody is walking into the room behind them and the internet is replete with gifts, toys, and all manner of other fun stuff that will make you feel like a “hoe hoe hoe” for even thinking about it.

   

Basically, it seems that the Christmas holidays have always had a certain element of sex to them and, in my own sex positive view, there’s nothing wrong with that.

There’s stuff for kids, stuff for adults, and that’s just fine.

So, why the outrage over this particular advert?

Well, it’s partly the gay thing – as it sadly, and predictably, always is. Scratch beneath the recoiling against “sexualising Santa” and you’ll find someone who is probably ok with guys kissing guys or girls kissing girls but who would rather keep it out of sight and out of mind. In Darren Grimes’ example, himself being a gay man, this is probably not the case but the outrage fits well in the kind of ‘good old days’ nostalgic rhetoric he has made his career out of. If those are his principles and values, then fine, but it is both a case of far too little and way too late if we’re keeping Christmas and its main spokesman (sorry Jesus, I know it’s your birthday but you don’t get this and the holiday with the chocolate eggs – that’s just selfish!) away from the sexy stuff and also it’s just not that big a deal. It’s an advert… in a foreign country, that really doesn’t merit this kind of reaction.

As the festive season approaches, and hopes are high for a far more normal one than last year, it’s surely about time we just took a deep swig from a can of chill out juice, try to winch the nearest appropriate and consenting person, and not get all wound up about adverts?

Maybe it could be a New Year’s resolution for us as a culture, but then again I’d rather we actually meant it. Besides, I’m sure Mrs Claus is fine with her hubby and his boyfriend – she’s been married to the old duffer for centuries and he’s never worked more than one day a year or tried to lose a bit of weight. In fact, she’s probably snogging the face off the Easter Bunny’s missus as we speak – they seem like the kind of couple to have an arrangement to me. Good for her if she is.

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Photo from the Norwegian postal advert, sexy Santa outfits from a simple Google search

 

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