Lily kissing Jamie

The Mummy Diaries – Lily’s high maintenance demands…


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WE ONLY HAVE three days left of the ‘terrible twos’ before we have a ‘threenager’ in the house again. Lily has been planning her birthday since Christmas! When I say planning, more like dictating what she’s doing. When asked on Boxing Day if she loved all her Santa presents, she said, “Mmm yeah I love them but I REALLY wanted a unicorn suitcase.”

Eh?! A what?! First I’d heard of this. And then it made sense..

“I told Santa that I really wanted a unicorn suitcase when you were making dinner mummy.” Lily states.

“Ah, okay, how did you tell him?” I asked.

“I told him up the chimney Mummy.” She says looking at me like I’m an idiot.

“Of course, sorry! Oh he must not have heard you. Maybe you could ask for that for your birthday instead?” I said optimistically.

“Okay mummy!” She says, and swans off.

Fox. Ache. Most wee girls want Barbie’s or princess dresses. Not mine – a unicorn suitcase?! Where the heck will I get one of those?

“Don’t worry about it.” Says James. “She’s two! She’ll change her mind a dozen times before her birthday!”


“Mummy? How many more sleeps until I get my unicorn suitcase?” Lily asks.

Mmmm, yeah she’ll forget all about it and change her mind – not.

“Err, 14 more sleeps Lil.” I reply.

“Yeeeeeeeeeeahhhhh!!!! I’m sooooo excited Mummy!” Squeals Lily.

Right. That evening, I got the kids to bed and googled ‘kids unicorn suitcase’.

Michael Kors, Ted Baker and Tribal Fashion. The cheapest one coming in at £360!! I love our Lily more than life but she can jog on if she thinks she’s getting a designer suitcase for her third birthday!

“My first car didn’t cost £360!!” Roars James.

The following morning, while Jamie was at playschool and James was out at work, I sat with Lily and asked her where she had seen this unicorn suitcase about.

“On your phone Mummy.” Lily says.

“On my phone? How did you see it on my phone?” I ask.

“Look I’ll show you.” Lily states while swiping my phone off the table. As handy as you like, she taps in the code to unlock my phone and clicks into YouTube before I can say, “Step aside Bill Gates!”

“Here mummy look!” She roars.

Trunki Ride on suitcase – Una The Unicorn – £49.99

“Ah I see, that’s cool!” I reply whilst feeling slightly relieved that I won’t have to sell a kidney before her birthday!

I got onto Google straight away and every site I visited was sold out!

Two days later and the panic was starting to set in. I was spending yet another morning trawling the internet for a website that had these Trunki’s in stock. I wouldn’t have even cared at this point if there was one for sale at £360! And then at the top of the screen in tiny writing – Visit for the latest deals on Unicorn Trunki’s.

And there it was! In Germany, in stock and same price as before. Thank goodness!!

Add to basket – Click!

Two days later and a large box was delivered. Trying to sneak the box upstairs without being seen was actually harder than finding a website but I was so delighted and relieved to see Lily’s birthday present in front of me.

A couple of days later and it was Granny’s weekly Skype with the kids.

“Hi Gwanny!!” Roars Jamie and Lily and then Lily walks off to play.

“Hi guys! Hi Jamie, what have you been up to this week?” Granny asks Jamie.

After 10 minutes of all the breakfasts, lunches and dinners he’s had all week and the rest of what Jamie was up to, Granny managed to get another word in..

“And who’s birthday is it soon?” She asks.

Before Jamie could even open his mouth, Lily comes racing through…

“It’s MY birthday Gwanny!” She roars.

“Oooh and what would you like for your birthday?” Granny asks.

“I would like balloons, and cake, and candles and flowers and a haircut.” Lily boasts.

“Err, what about the unicorn suitcase you’ve been asking for the last six months?” I ask surprised.

“Oh yeah!” Lily says giggling. “And a unicorn suitcase as well.”

Fox. Ache.

I’m shaking my head and Jamie rolls his eyes.

“Oh looks like Lily’s going to be high maintenance!” Granny says laughing.

That evening after dinner, James and I were clearing away the dishes and Lily comes through and asks, “Mummy can you paint my nails pink please?”

“Yeah, give me two minutes Lil until I get tidied up here okay?” I replied.

“Okay mummy, thanks!” Lily says happily.

Then Jamie walks through to the kitchen.

“Lily you want to play hide and seek?” Jamie asks.

“No sorry Jamie, I’m getting my nails done now.” Lily states boldly.

“Awwwww.” Says Jamie annoyed and runs over to James and cuddles into his leg.

“Come on, me and you will go and play hide and seek Jamie.” Says James.

“Yeah! Lily’s high maintenance Daddy!” Shouts Jamie and storms off.

I definitely won’t argue with that – and am thinking we don’t need the speech therapist anymore!

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