WINNING is all that matters in sports. True greats like Novak Djokovic are machines, winning through strong, unfazed, consistent responses. In tennis it works a treat. Bat it back, score a few points and go home. Would-be sporting greats might study his game. Where it doesn’t translate is into politics. Making the same response to every question, ignoring nuance and knocking out reasoning in politics leaves us in a hole. A hole that Keir Starmer fills perfectly.
Keir Starmer’s boring and repetitive returns come thick and fast at PMQs. A man who communicates through lists. War talk? Make a list. Fuel security? Make a list. You say I’m not a good boy? Make a list. Opposition criticism? Make a list. (Don’t worry, we have one).
When in full swing, his choir behind him join in. Over and over. Odds-on, when he leaves office he’ll list his lists.
It’s tedious and yes, Keir’s inability to answer questions is irritating. He’s a pompous, vain and morally sanctimonious man. He was elected on a platform of being ‘not a tory’ which he screeches in perpetuity. But it’s not Keir’s fault. (Nothing of course is Keir’s fault). We have a parliament which allows a PM to condescend the nation by not answering questions. It’s a waste of time, and more importantly a waste of money.
A quick canvas of how much these PMQs cost the British public vs their impact might sharpen our public minds. Keir has no particular discomfort with spending money (£4.2 million for travel Keir?) and it’d be with a straight face he’d explain (in a list) of all the reasons he needs to travel. Asking about best value and public money would be met with a boring Keirologue. Throw-something-at-the-tv annoying, smug etc., etc.. But then like a light in the darkness a little hope was sent our way.
Just as the house was leaving, having failed to clarify anything other than Keir’s moral superiority to all things ‘Tory’, a phoenix arose from the ashes. Sir Edward Leigh raised a point of order. I’ve never heard of Sir Edward Leigh but as all faith was lost that anyone in the house was actually able to ask a sensible question, Sir Edward, stood up for me.
He noted that although politicians will dodge questions, there was a problem with Keir’s inability to look at himself or answer for himself or explain himself. All Keir can do is blame the opposition. Gaslighting, as the young might say.
The Speaker of the House shut the question down as not in his authority. Nor his responsibility. He’s not the judge. The Speaker’s job appears to be quietening exuberance and reminding the house of the rules, a well-paid class teacher, in effect. Echoing the PM’s stance, it’s not the Speaker’s problem, not his legislation and not his job. Who’s is it then? Maybe it’s Ed Milliband’s. He seems to be in charge of everything else. But if not Ed, then who?
Anyway, thanks Edward Leigh. Logic and reasoning appear to have left the building. But at least you noticed.
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Image of an AI robotic Starmer readying to deliver an answer of lists to PMQs courtesy of Starrai
