The Mummy Diaries: Two babies – Week 47

The Mummy Diaries: Two babies – Week 47

by Emma Hargan
article from Tuesday 14, May, 2019

WHAT DO YOU GET when you cross a toilet training toddler with an 11-month-old that’s teething?

A head case for a mother!

Yes, it’s been quite a week. I don’t think I quite thought through the whole ‘Oh it will be lovely to have a small age gap between them, they will grow up together and play together.’ Mmm, yeah. Maybe in Walt Disneyland! 

I used to work for the Procurator Fiscal in Edinburgh. My days generally consisted of contacting witnesses for court, collecting evidence for the Fiscal, editing and sending out citations, dealing with Sheriff Clerks, interviewing police and medical experts and assisting the Fiscal court hearings on a Tuesday morning. I used to stress about making it to court on time, that I had everything to hand for when the Fiscal asked for it, making sure the family of the accused understood what was going on after the court proceedings and completed all the paperwork on any adjourned, closed or follow-up cases. I honestly thought my job was fairly important and pretty stressful. Ha! Little did I know that looking after two little people would be the toughest job yet!

As it stands at the moment, I am up to my eyes in teethers, Calpol, drool, tears, sore ears, dirty nappies, wet pants, wet trousers, wet socks, wet trainers and Poo goes to Pooland on YouTube. Yip it’s safe to say that my days in the Procurator Fiscal office are well and truly behind me and didn’t even come close to the stresses of dealing with two crying babies all day long. 

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m one of the lucky ones. Jamie and Lily are both generally happy natured, great sleepers and great eaters. Of course I knew that at some point I would have to toilet train Jamie and that Lily would have teeth coming in. I just didn’t prepare myself for it all to happen at once.

When Jamie was teething, he only had one tooth at a time come through so he was generally on good form throughout. Lily on the other hand has only her two bottom front teeth through since she was six months old and now we have six coming in at the same time!

Jamie can’t start nursery unless he is toilet trained so I’m now under a bit of pressure as I don’t want him to miss out. Did I mention that it had been a stressful week?

Aww, but it’s lovely when I’m busy sorting out washing, putting away dishes and tidying up the kitchen and I peer around the living room door and there the two of them are, sitting playing happily together, sharing toys, laughing and giggling…

Err, what??

More like Lily’s screaming her head off like a banshee because Jamie’s just stolen the car she was playing with, because it’s ‘his’ car. Then I try to tactfully explain to a toddler why he needs to share, all the while trying to get Lily interested in some other toy. Then Jamie starts to cry because I’m sitting playing with Lily to calm her down, so it all starts again. Yes – the vicious circle. This is one of those things that no one tells you. They will fight like cat and dog! Now of course I knew that Jamie and Lily would have wee spats and rows but I didn’t think it would happen this early on!

The other thing no one tells you is how quickly it gets harder. In the beginning, all you hear about is how having a new born is such hard work and having to cope with the major life adjustment of having a little human to look after – and all while under a serious lack of sleep. 


For me personally, the new born phase was the easy bit. All they do is eat, burp, poop, sleep and repeat. Okay, yes, you are up a couple of times in the night but it’s bottle, burping, cuddles and sleep again. If either of my two wake up in the middle of the night now, it’s because they’ve had a nightmare, or it’s teeth or a sore belly or a coughing fit. And they don’t just roll over after a cuddle and go back to sleep. They scream the house down until I have exhausted every avenue of calming possibilities. Be it juice, Calpol, change nappy and cuddles and hope and pray that one of these will do the trick, otherwise it’s going to be a looooooong day ahead!

There’s another thing that no one prepares you for. That fearful moment. The time when you will never be so scared in all your life. Not even the time when you watched Stephen King’s IT when you were 12-years-old even comes close to the terrifying experience. Nothing prepares you for fear like it. 

It’s 3.00am.

Your lying all snug in your bed.

You then have that moment when you awaken before you have opened your eyes.

It’s dark.

You have a feeling that unnerves you.

You open your eyes…

And there’s a two year old stood at the side of your bed just staring at you. On those nights I could do with wearing a pair of Jamie’s pull-ups’ myself!

I was glad to see Friday arrive after the tough week it has been. You see, 8.00pm Friday night in our house is meant to be Wine O’clock. Kids are in bed, all the jobs are done, movie on and wine glass filled. A treat night!

8.15pm – Lily starts crying.

Film paused, run upstairs put dummy back in and she settles.

8.30pm – Lily starts crying again.

Film paused again, run upstairs put dummy back in but she is still crying. Wakes Jamie. Lift her for a cuddle…..

11.30pm – James in Jamie’s room. Lily in bed next to me. No movie, no wine – no patience.

The following day and everyone in the house was exhausted after another night of teething and tears. We decided we would head out for the day as a change of scenery might help everyone and distract Lily a bit. The day started off well, but by the afternoon everyone was tired and Lily and Jamie were fed up being in the car. We headed for home and James said optimistically, “The two of them should be tired tonight, we’ll get them to bed and we can chill and watch that film later.”

James kept the kids amused while I made the dinner and all was quiet while the food was being devoured. Unfortunately, as soon as the food ran out, so did the good humour and both Lily and Jamiedecided to play up. 

“I’m going to nip upstairs and get their pj’s sorted, will you watch them for a minute?” I asked James. James threw himself down on the floor and started messing about and tickling Jamie and Lily. “Yeah sure!” he replied, too nonchalantly for his own good.

As I was walking up the stairs, it was lovely to hear the kids laughing and giggling for the first time in a few days but I have to say, it was going to take more than that to pull me out of the stressful, bad mood I was in after the nightmare of the last week.

“OH FOR FOX ACHE!!!!” James roars from downstairs.

I ran downstairs as fast as I could into the living room where I found Jamie sitting on the floor, having filled his pants with poop and sat on the side of James’ face!!!

And there it was – my smile returned!!! Lol!

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