The Mummy Diaries: Two babies – Week 24

The Mummy Diaries: Two babies – Week 24

by Emma Hargan
article from Wednesday 5, December, 2018

IT’S BEGINNING TO LOOK a lot like Christmas! Last week we decided to start getting organised and get into the Christmas spirit and put the decorations up. 

Well, more like everyone else in the neighbourhood already had their Christmas trees up and their gardens decorated with lights and climbing Santa’s. By comparison our house looked like the Grinch’s cave all in darkness, so it was time to start nagging James to get up into the attic and get the tree and the decorations down. Yes – a tree! Perhaps not such a good idea with a toddler but we’ll chance it!

It was James’ birthday on Wednesday so he decided to take the day off. Little did he know that he would have had a more relaxing time at work! 

Jamie was at creche in the morning and Lily had an appointment so I let James chill in the house while I took the kids. I dropped Jamie off first while Lily was sleeping. It’s amazing, at two years old, he knows where he’s going and gets all excited when we get into the car park. Jamie practically runs into the building, dragging me behind him. When we arrived at the toddler room, there was only one little girl playing compared to the usual seven or eight kids. The girls that work in the creche told me the others were all off sick with Chicken Pox. Oh, bloody fantastic! A good dose of chicken pox is what we need over Christmas. Ah well, sure I could hardly haul him out now as he would have gone ballistic and I know that it’s probably good for him to get it now, so it’s done and dusted. Is there ever a good time to get sick? I gave Jamie a kiss and a cuddle and left him to it.

I collected Lily and took her on to her appointment which only lasted 15 minutes and then we went home to find James chilling on his iPad. The breakfast dishes were still lying out and the house looking like a bomb site. Ok, well, it was his birthday. The penny dropped with him when I started tidying up and James put the iPad down and helped. After we got the house looking like it wasn’t inhabited by animals and the washing on, I gave James his birthday presents and cards. While James was in a good mood, it seemed like a good idea to suggest that we take the kids to see Santa in the afternoon and then put the Christmas decorations up in the evening after Jamie went to bed. James agreed. Brilliant!

I had an hour before Jamie needed lifting from creche so I got Lily down for her nap and went upstairs to look out a couple of smart outfits for their photo with Santa. I spent ages looking out a lovely shirt and trousers for Jamie. Lily was loads easier. I had a gorgeous wee pink dress with a tutu she would look so cute in. Sorted.

Lily was still snoozing when I left her and James to collect Jamie. As usual, I got a lovely cuddle when I walked into the toddler room and was told Jamie had been as good as gold and ate all his lunch which was chicken and potatoes – something he NEVER eats for me! Typical. He was so excited to see his Daddy at home as James is always away whenever he gets home. I got Jamie changed and down for his nap. Naturally, as soon as Jamie goes to sleep, lily opens her eyes like clockwork.

I let Jamie sleep for an hour. James fed Lily and then I got her changed and into her good clothes for going out. Aw, she looked so cute! I put Lily into her bouncer while James went upstairs to wake Jamie up. I had literally walked from her bouncer to the kitchen when all I heard was that dreaded heaving. I turned around to see Lily’s bright red face. You have got to be kidding??!! I whipped Lily out of the bouncer so fast she didn’t know where she was and started to strip her quickly, hoping to save the dress from disaster! Thankfully, she had only hit her vest. Another costume change later and Lily was back in her bouncer and Jamie was ready to be changed and dressed.

After the usual screaming match over the importance of wearing trousers, Jamie was good to go. James said he was going upstairs to get changed when I replied that he was fine the way he was as we better go now while the kids were clean and on good form. James agreed and we all packed into the car. Even though I had a change of clothes for them both, I was hoping the whole way in that no one would puke or shit themselves until after we saw Santa. Little did I know that was the least of my problems…

We arrived at the shopping centre and James got Lily into her pushchair while I got Jamie out of his car seat and he took my hand while we walked in. The place looked so lovely and Christmassy. There was Christmas music playing in the background and with it being during the week, it was nice and quiet but with a lovely buzz about the place. Jamie was as good as gold walking around and was enjoying all the attention people were giving him and chatting to him in the passing. We spent ten minutes walking around when we arrived at Santa’s grotto. Not a single person in the queue! Class! 

We walked over and James was getting Lily out of the pushchair when a lady came over to us and asked if we wanted to see Santa. I looked down at Jamie and he was smiling away. I asked her if we could get a photo with both Jamie and Lily together and she said that was no problem. Ha! No problem? I walked Jamie into the grotto and Santa asked what his name was. Jamie totally freaked and grabbed hold of my leg. Santa suggested that I sit next to him with Jamie on my knee while he held lily, in the hope that Jamie would relax and sit by himself. 

Now, when I tell you I have never had a more embarrassing experience – I mean it. I think Santa must have been on the mulled wine when he told Jamie that he was on his ‘Nice List’. Just when I thought Jamie was chilling, Santa said to put Jamie on his knee next to Lily. I lifted him and went to put him down when Jamie took his fist and socked poor Santa on the chops!

“Jesus Christ!” cried Santa. While frantically fixing his beard.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry”, I said while furiously trying to contain my son from doing a runner. I shouted to James to grab Lily while apologising to poor Santa when the lady that greeted us suggested we all got in and had a family photo. I agreed with my face like beetroot while trying to contain my embarrassment, I flung Jamie over to James while he threw me a look that said – I should have got bloody changed before we left!

We eventually managed to get a photo of us all looking at the camera and I have honestly never been so glad to get away from somewhere in all my life! 

James suggested that we then go and grab some dinner while we were out and would save me having to cook. I was worried that we had maybe had enough of a siege with Santa’s visit but thought the day couldn’t really get much worse. 

We had a really nice dinner out and both Jamie and Lily were great. I was maybe being a bit too optimistic in thinking Jamie would be fine at getting his photo done with Santa. I mean, when you think about it, he’s still a bit young to understand the whole concept and to expect him to sit on a stranger’s knee might have been asking a bit much.

While walking back through the shopping centre to get to the car, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around and there was Santa standing. He knelt down next to Jamie and asked him for a high five. Jamie smiled and high fived him. Santa then said, “You forgot your toy Jamie.” Jamie took it and gave Santa another high five. I think at that point, he might have just got back on to the ‘Nice List’ again.

When we got home James said, “Well, it could have been worse.”

“How the hell could it have been worse?” I said, “Jamie punched Santa!”

Only my son could make Santa swear, but at least I know now that it’s not only me that Jamie can drive crazy. Ah those lovely memorable moments. I’ll get Jamie some boxing gloves next Christmas!

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