The  Mummy Diaries: Two babies - Week 5

The Mummy Diaries: Two babies - Week 5

by Emma Hargan
article from Wednesday 25, July, 2018

WELL, it’s now week five and so far we have managed to keep the house from disappearing under a pile of dust and toys and the babies are now starting to adjust to life with each other. Jamie has now stopped completely ignoring Lily and has started to want to comfort her when she’s crying. This of course is done in the form of stealing her toys and blankets out of the crib, but I like to think it’s done with affection! I had another help arrive this week. My wee sister is staying for the next 10 days. This is my single, life with no kids sister who I don’t think quite knows what she’s in for!

Katy arrived on Wednesday evening and we took the kids in the car to lift her from the town. It was lovely to see her and after his usual cute shy spell, Jamie was showing off and all excited to see his Aunty. Katy was delighted to see Jamie of course, but she was naturally ahhhhing and cooing over Lily as this was the first time she had met her. Cue the first Jamie tantrum. He was so furious with Katy cuddling and chatting to Lily, that after his raging tantrum had calmed down, he then went into silent, huffy mode and kept turning away whenever Katy went to talk to him. Keen to get back into Jamie’s good books, she told me she would look after Jamie over the next few days so I could chill a bit and concentrate my time with Lily. Oh God, I give her 2 days - max!

That first evening, me and James did the usual routine of dinner, bath and bed before sitting down to our own nice dinner (I didn’t want to scare her off on the first night) and a few glasses of wine. A few glasses quickly turned into a couple of bottles. Not a great idea when I had to get up at 4.00am to do a Lily feed but James thankfully stepped in so I could sleep through. I actually woke in the morning all refreshed as I had had a full night’s sleep for the first time in five weeks. Katy on the other hand was feeling a bit hazy. I did suggest that I do my usual routine with the kids but she wasn’t having it and was determined to look after Jamie. "How hard can it be?" she says. That was until the first nappy change and the first test of Katy’s patience!

"Jesus!! What the hell are you feeding him! This isn’t human!" is all I could hear from the sitting room. I couldn’t help but smirk when I heard her gagging. Jamie then decided that he wanted to stretch over and lift something off the table and so managed to stick his foot into the dirty nappy. "Bloody lovely!" Katy cried. Now at this point, I had to go through and offer to help but again she refused. I had to say to her that no matter how bad things get - don’t swear, as Jamie would end up repeating everything.

"Oh so sorry! I’ll try not to", through gritted teeth. Unfortunately, Katy had left Jamie with no nappy on while she was putting his vest and top on. Now, anyone who has wee boys themselves knows what happens when you take a nappy off and leave it off for more than 30 seconds. "Aw for fffffffffffff errr, God's sake!" Jamie was now soaked through with pee. Again, I offered to help but nope, Katy was having none of it. While Katy ran upstairs to get Jamie another outfit, Jamie was now standing butt naked on the sofa waving and making fish faces at the neighbours who were passing the window going to work. Just great!

Everyone has their own problems and worries. I’m sure they are all relative. I mean, my problems involve things like making sure the mortgage and bills are paid and my kids are happy and healthy. Jamie’s problems include diving from the coffee table to the sofa without being seen and being nagged to pick up the cushions off the sitting room floor. All relative. I was told by many people that the biggest issue they had after they had kids was the amount of time it took to leave the house and go anywhere. I tried to explain this to Katy and she couldn’t understand why it took so long – until we were getting ready to leave the house.

This involves a tag team process. One person goes for a shower while the other one watches the kids and vice versa. Both adults then take a kid each and attempt to change nappy and dress said child. Whoever is finished first, then attempts the packing of the nappy changing bag. This also includes making bottles and getting juice and snacks. Once this is done, take both kids to the front door to leave where one or both kids then fills their nappy and the process then starts again. If you make it out the door within an hour, you're doing well.

Once we were out, we had to go and get Lily’s passport photo done. I took Lily into the chemist to get the photo and left James, Jamie and Katy in the car. It took a while to get the right photo as you can’t make a five week old baby look at the camera. By the time I got back to the car, James and Katy were on their last nursery rhyme and looking pretty stressed. Jamie was starting to get really fed up so I got Lily strapped in and jumped into the car. Jamie then screamed "GO GO GO!" at the top of his lungs.

Of course the windows in the car were down and I think people passing by thought we were part of an armed robbery!

After getting all the errands done, we eventually got home and I think Katy was glad to get back to the house and get Jamie down for his afternoon nap. "Is it too early to have a glass of wine?" she says. Later that afternoon once Jamie had woken up, I said to Katy to take him out to the garden to play. He loves playing in the garden and is happy to do his own thing – er, well usually! I think they were only outside 15 minutes when I heard Jamie crying and the next thing Katy burst through the back door all stressed, "He’s been stung, he’s been stung!" The poor wee soul had been stung by a wasp on his leg and was crying inconsolably. I carried him in and after a few cuddles, a drop of Calpol and an ice pack, Jamie had calmed down. Katy by this stage was on her third glass of wine!

I think the final straw with Katy was shower time. I explained that Jamie usually has a wee melt down when he goes into the shower but once he’s in, he’s fine. Well, that’s usually the case. Just to make a liar of me, he was on good form when Katy took him upstairs. He got wise to the fact that Katy couldn’t reach him if he went into the far corner of the shower and then chose to stick his butt out at her so he looked like a little cherub. I thought this was hilarious and thankfully Katy, who by this point was tired and totally soaked, also saw the funny side – phew!

That evening once the kids were asleep, I walked into the kitchen where Katy was sitting at the table painting her nails and looking at dresses online. She says, "I can’t believe I forgot to order a dress before I go out on Saturday night!" While I’m up to my eyes in cleaning bottles and baby puke. Everyone’s problems are all relative!

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