WELCOME to the first edition of the ‘Essential Celebrity Dictionary’. We hope it is useful and provides an easy and shorthand way to understand ourselves and of course, our celeb leaders. Through their sacrifice, our vocabulary is greatly enriched. We thank them and we thank you for using these new words…
Gail Macdonald’s Essential Celebrity Dictionary
Philip Schofield
Schofield noun
- A shade of beige once in fashion now universally disliked.
“I’m so sick of the Schofield, can’t we go back to magnolia?”
- Also (colloquial form): Elephant in the room.
“The judge wouldn’t allow us to discuss the Schofield”
See also Holly Willoughby (Willoughby – noun)
- Design choice unloved but not yet intolerable.
“I should get rid of the Willoughby in the lounge but can make do to Christmas”
Prince Harry
harry verb
- To bleat or make piteous whining sound, (unrelenting).
“After my accident I could hear a harry in my dream” or “I couldn’t shake the harry no matter how many times I bashed my head off the wall.”
Meghan Markle
markle verb
- Gas of little substance that absorbs other gases, more than sum of its parts. Inflated to extreme degree. Unstoppable and un-aware.
“The gas markled its away around the world and would not be put back in bottle.”
Nicola Sturgeon
sturgeon adj
- Brazen: Unhampered by truth irrespective of audience knowing actual truth. Colloquial form: Brass neck. To have a mouth covered in jam and say you didn’t eat the jam, with conviction.
“When my mum found me with my hands in her purse, I totally sturgeoned.”
Keir Starmer
starmer verb
- Talk without commitment. Avoid saying things. Droning on.
“At my Greggs interview I had to starmer about sausage rolls but I don’t think they noticed.”
Rishi Sunak
sunak noun
- Short term and earnest, initially, but not bothered in long term.
“I thought I’d be really into debate club but I sunaked after the first term.”
Michelle Obama
obama noun
- Sneery look that you can see and no one else can.
“The WAG’s face went all obama when she saw the gift the unpopular girl brought.
Oprah Winfrey
oprah verb
- Emotional one-way journey from deeply pleasant feelings of relatability – to deep loathing.
“Our marriage is over and we can’t make it work. We’ve oprahed.”
Johnny Depp
depp verb
- Saving money by not wanting to give money to annoying brands.
“Thankfully Nike Johnny Depped me some money. See also Dior and Adidas.”
If you appreciated this article please share and follow us on Twitter here – and like and comment on facebook here. Help support ThinkScotland publishing these articles by making a donation here.
Photo of Philip Schofield (right) with Holly Willoughby (left) and then prime minister David Cameron (centre) by Number 10 – PM on set of ‘This Morning’, CC BY 2.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=128881340
