Sturgeon Halo

Decoding Nicola

MSP and ex-First Minister Nicola Sturgeon was at Holyrood last week, where she bumped into the media and gave an impromptu little speech in the wake of the Police Scotland inquiry into SNP finances.  She didn’t give away anything new, which begs the question, why?  To find out we need a little analysis.  Let’s play a fun game called ‘What is Nicola actually saying?’

What Nicola said:  She is ‘frustrated’ because she can’t ‘give her version’.   

It seems in today’s Scotland you can say nothing when your house has a police tent in the garden and your mother-in-law has a motorhome taken away on a police lorry.  You can’t say anything about having a husband when he is under investigation.    You are not allowed to mention words that include ‘husband’ ‘us’ or ‘we’ or ‘my mother-in-law’.   You can talk a lot about ‘me’ ‘I’ and ‘my’.  There is no ‘I’ in team.  But there is one in Nicola.  Nicola was back front and centre of the press pack talking about Nicola.  Her special place.

What Nicola said:  She is ‘not complaining’. 

Nicola often says a lot about what she is not doing.  Lockdown speeches (‘Look, I’m not saying this is going to be easy’), Resignation speeches, (‘Not a reaction to short term pressures’) and even again she repeats that she is also not doing the ‘poor me’ but does it anyway.  The equivalent of ‘I’m not being rude but you are so ugly’.  There are many other things Nicola is not doing but feels compelled to clarify, that she is not moaning about her lot.  Because that would just be the worst.  That’s what would be unacceptable.

What Nicola said: ‘There will be a time to give a version, hopefully’. 

Is Nicola suggesting she may never get a chance to give her version?   How long does she think the investigation will go on?  That it could go on her whole life?  How complex is this Police Scotland investigation into a missing money pot of £600k?  Does it go straight to the top?  Is Washington in on this?

What Nicola said: ‘I think Humza is doing an outstanding job’.

Nicola backs up her replacement.  Classy.  Ratings plummeting, daft comments all over the place, no money left and some very unfortunate timing.   Outstanding?  Not the first word that is coming to mind. But Nicola has a point. Humza, even in the world of terrible leaders, is indeed a stand-out.

What Nicola said: ‘Some people might have thought that I knew this was all about to unfold and that’s why I walked away’.  

Nicola, the consummate politician is still there.  Some people?  Cunningly letting us know some people actually believe she didn’t know this was all about to unfold.  Of course, she’s right.   There are some people who believe all sorts of nonsense like the earth is flat, that they can fly or that Nicola Sturgeon was good for Scotland.  Or a feminist.   Or not dodgy in the least.

What Nicola said:  ‘It’s been, and I use the term advisedly and deliberately, traumatic……. my worst nightmare’.

Nicola wants to draw attention to the word ‘traumatic’.  She is using it advisedly.  Interesting in a week where SNP are planning a change from jury trials to judge trials for cases where victims or witnesses may be traumatised.     It would mean a big change for victims of trauma in the courts.  Why you using that word, Nicola?

Clever girl.

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