Jamie with phone Square

The Mummy Diaries – Practice what you preach!


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OH WOW! Where did those last five years go? When other parents tell you to take it all in, enjoy every minute and even embrace the tough times because the time will go in very quickly – then believe them! I was expecting quick, but not in a blink.

Jamie has just a few weeks left of playschool and then he’s finished. It didn’t really hit home until I saw his wee school photos in his uniform and although I see a huge change in him this last two years, he’s still only small. My head has already started doing overtime with questions and we’ve still got the whole summer to go before it starts. I have his uniform ordered, he’s going up to the school next week to meet his teacher, he’s got lots of wee friends from playschool that will be in his class and Jamie’s so excited you would think he was heading to Disneyland and not starting primary school!

So why am I freaking out? Hmmn…

Will he like his new school?

Will he be okay with the transition from playschool to primary?

Will he like his new teacher?

Will he make friends?

Will he be kind, polite and respectful?

And I suppose most importantly, will he enjoy and have fun learning stuff?

I actually remember my very first day at primary school. I remember my mum getting my uniform on me and brushing my hair within an inch of its life, putting it in plaits and ribbons. I remember my dad giving me my first proper watch to wear. And although I knew from the way my parents were acting and getting emotional, this was a big deal. I remember being excited. I hope that’s the way Jamie feels.

Oh my! But anyway, I’ve got a few months to go and a whole summer to enjoy before I need to start worrying. Let’s face it, by the end of the summer, like most parents, I’ll be pushing him through the school gates and making a bid for freedom!

And another big deal is happening at the end of the summer as well. Lily is starting playschool too! So not only will I be coping with having Jamie at school, I won’t have my mini-me sidekick either.

Never mind the kids, whose life change is this??? Get it together Emma.

So, this week has had me out a small fortune in school photos, ordering uniforms and paying for school trips, which generally got me freaking out about the whole starting school process.

Jamie’s still attending his speech therapy and completing all the assessments, which he is doing amazingly well. Now of course, with learning all these new words and phrases, comes with all the questions too. (I’m still frantically on Google most evenings!) We are also still working on pronunciation as well. What sounded cute when Jamie was younger, now comes across as just cursing. For example.

“MUUUUUUMY! Lily’s stole my spaceshit!” 

“Mummy? Can we go to the beach? Can we go swimming in the oh-shit?” (the ocean) 

“Mummy, can I wear my focks please?” (CrocsI) 

See what I mean?

And the problem as well is trying to work out when it’s being said in all innocence or when Jamie is testing the water. You see Jamie’s smart and knows the ‘naughty’ words. I know at times I’m being tested but it’s not always easy. For example…

Jamie and Lily are playing cars together. 

Lily knocks the bridge over. 

Jamie goes mad. 

Lily starts to laugh. 

Lily then gets a toy car launched at the side of her head. 

“Jamie no! You do NOT throw toys at your sister! Go and sit on the step now!” I say sternly.

Jamie walks away in a huff and mutters, “Aw shit!”

“What did you say?!” I ask.

“Nothing.” Jamie states.

“What?!” I say again raising my voice.

“I said oh shit like at the beach.” Jamie says quietly looking at floor.

Mmmmm. “Well we’ll need to tell your speech doctor about that then.”

Jamie gives me a dirty look while slinking off like a scalded cat.

It’s just been one of those weeks where I feel like I’ve not been out of my purse. Between all the kids’ stuff, we’ve also needed to get parts and tyres for the car for a service, the oven needed a new part and an electric bill that would nearly count as a second mortgage! With the weather being so rubbish, the tumble dryer is never off in our house. But I suppose that’s just how it goes.

So, Monday morning and after dropping Jamie off at playschool, I got Lily settled and sorted with some colouring in so I could make the phone calls for ordering the stuff for the car and the oven. All arriving the following day, brilliant! We just about had time for a few jobs in the house, some work and a game of hide and seek before having to leave to collect Jamie. On our walk back and a few houses up from ours, Jamie was telling us all his stories of what he had been up to at playschool that morning, when Lily says, “What’s that noise mummy?”

“I think it’s a drill.” I replied.

I tried to hide my sense of panic when I realised that the noise was actually getting louder on approaching our house! I frantically got the keys and told the kids to go wait in the hall. I ran through to the utility room and pulled the washing machine plug out from the wall. It wasn’t until the machine has stopped that I noticed the seal was totally warped and the drum inside was completely loose. Uuuugh brilliant!

James got home that evening and after taking the machine to bits, then announces, “No it’s not worth fixing, we’ll need a new machine.”

Okay, deep breathes.

After a search online and a row with James over which machine I would like (seeing as it’s only me that uses it) I got my melted bank card out again and ordered the new washing machine. Straight away I got a confirmation email and then a text to say that due to covid and a high number of orders, the machine couldn’t be delivered until next week, but if I wanted to pay an extra 50 quid, it could be delivered the next day!

That’s when I lost it.

“For fox ache!”

“Excuse me Mummy, I don’t think so. Go and sit on the step!” Roars Jamie.

“Err, I didn’t say anything naughty.” I replied frantically trying to claw my way back.

“What did you say then?” Asks Jamie.

“I shouted PANCAKE! I think we should have pancakes tomorrow.” I said while holding my breath.

Jamie then looks up at me and says, “Okay mummy, we’ll need to tell my speech doctor about this and maybe she can help you too!”

How could I argue with that?!

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