“No Mummy no!”, play dates and bye bye dummy!

“No Mummy no!”, play dates and bye bye dummy!

by Emma Hargan
article from Tuesday 4, February, 2020

The Mummy Diaries week 26

A BUSY WEEK of play dates, soft play, play school and the usual running about. We’ve managed to hit another milestone this week as Jamie has said ‘bye bye!’ to the dummies. Lily has now discovered her favourite word – “No!” and I mean no to everything. She even says it when she means yes! Cue total confusion, and melt downs. Uuuugh!

The dummy. A total life saver in the beginning but it’s one of those things I wish I had never started. But like any first time mummy, I had no idea that all I was doing was putting off the inevitable. They need to learn to self sooth and nod off to sleep by themselves. The worst part of it was I was told by the speech therapist that dummies can delay their speech as well and this may have been a contributing factor in why Jamie wasn’t progressing as quickly as he should have been. I never give Jamie and Lily the dummy at any other time than naps and bedtime but I was surprised to hear by the therapist that it can still affect the pronunciation of words and replacing “t’s” with “d’s” is common too. I suppose it makes sense but I was annoyed with myself that I had no idea about this otherwise I would never had started the awful thing in the first place. So with all that food for thought, we decided that it was time. No better time to start than after a busy weekend of play dates and Jamie was exhausted. Too exhausted in fact to argue with me!

Kids are like elephants – they NEVER forget anything you say to them. After Jamie took sick last weekend and couldn’t go to Ellie’s birthday party, I told him that we had arranged another party for Ellie on Sunday in the soft play and we’ll go then. I had to tell him as he was so upset that he couldn’t go to the party. The only drawback to telling your kid about something so far in advance is spending the rest of the week hoping and praying that they don’t take sick again or that the other kid doesn’t get sick and you have to cancel – again!

Yes – you have more chance of winning the lottery especially at this time of year where whatever playschool plague they’ve just got over, the next one is never too far away! But thankfully Jamie had a good week at playschool. He was looking forward to the weekend as he had a friend coming around to the house on Saturday morning and then he had Ellie’s mini party on Sunday.

So another week of, “Mummy? How many more sleeps until..?”

Friday morning and Jamie was super excited as it was nearly the weekend. For once, when asked to go and get dressed for playschool, he raced into the bathroom and got himself all organised, teeth brushed and standing waiting to go. Lily on the other hand? Well she wasn’t so obliging.

“Right Lily, let’s get shoes on please?” I said optimistically.

“No Mummy!” Lily replied while running off in the other direction.

Uuuugh. Two rounds around the house and a wrestling match later, we finally got shoes on.

“Okay Lil, let’s get your jacket on.” I said.

“NO!” She shouted.

“And your hat..” I replied.

“NO!” was the response.

“Let’s get in the buggy…”

“NOOOOOOOOOOO!” and collapses into full blown Oscar winning melt down performance.

I looked over at Jamie who thought this was hilarious.

“Lily’s so funny mummy!” He said laughing. I glanced at my phone. 9.15am. We should be arriving at the playschool now. Fox ache.

9.25am and we arrived at the playschool. We got Jamie’s jacket hung up on his peg and his lunch on the trolley.

“Okay, have a great time, see you later.” I said while giving Jamie a kiss.

Jamie as usual then went to kiss Lily on the head, when Lily put her hand up and shouts, “Nooo!”

Jamie looked up at me shocked. “Lily’s just in a bad mood today, go on and I’ll see you later.” I said.

“Okay byeeeee!” Jamie replied and ran into the room.

And this is pretty much how the rest of the day went with Lily. Well, actually the rest of the week!  “Lily do you want…” “No!”. “Lily, let’s go…” “NO!” “Lily, Lily, Lily” NO! NO! NOOOOO!”

And mummy”s head explodes. Again.

Friday night and time for the sacrificing of the dreaded dummy. We did the usual bedtime routine but we just pretended that we had forgotten the dummy. Jamie didn’t even bother.

Until 10 minutes later…

“Mummy! Mummy! Dodo please?” Jamie shouts from upstairs.

I walk upstairs and explain to Jamie that the dodos have all gone and that he’s a big boy now. After several questions as to where the dodos went and a couple of sobs, a few cuddles and a story later, Jamie finally settled and we never heard a peep all night. Job done.

The following morning and I was running around like Mrs Doubtfire on speed, trying to get the house in a fit state before Jamie’s wee friend and her mum arrived for their play date. Jamie and Lily were happy to try and help but as all mummies know, trying to tidy the house with two toddlers helping is like trying to sweep leaves in the middle of a tornado! Thankfully by the time they arrived, the house didn’t look like a bomb had gone off but I of course hadn’t had time to do anything with myself so I looked like I had been dragged through a hedge backwards.

The kids had a ball. Two hours had passed and we hadn’t even noticed we were too busy chatting. The kids were happy playing with the toys and puzzles until Lily started crying. She was well overdue her nap and so was getting grouchy. Jamie’s friend and her mum left for home and I took an exhausted Lily upstairs to her cot.

“NO Mummy!” she said while rubbing her eyes.

“Oh yes Lily.” I replied. 30 seconds and she was out like a light.

Jamie wasn’t far behind her as he was tired from his play date as well. Again, no problems in putting him to bed but 10 minutes later and he was shouting for his dodo. I didn’t even get a chance to speak to him, by the time I had got upstairs and into his room, he was snoring like a drunk man! Job done.

Sunday morning and Jamie was super excited to be going to see Ellie at the soft play. We were just about to walk out the door and Lily comes running over to me, “Mummy car?” with the two hands up.

“Oh you stay with daddy Lil, we’ll be back soon.” I said.

“NO!” She shouted.

“Okay let’s go in the car.” I said. Lily replied, “NO!”

Fox ache. That’s when I realised, she just liked saying no. I got Jamie into the car alone and we set off for the soft play centre.

The kids had a great time running about mad. Annie and I  had a good catch up and Annie had bought another birthday cake for Ellie so Jamie could sing happy birthday and blow out the candles. Jamie was beaming. So as you can imagine when it was time to go, Jamie wasn’t too impressed.

twenty minutes later after two toilet trips, another race around the soft play centre and a fight to get shoes on, we made it out to the car.

“Did you have fun?” I asked him.

“Yeah, thank you mummy.” He said and fell asleep. Aww cuteness overload!

That evening, the kids were tired after their busy weekend, so it was baths and bed early. Of course, Lily had to object a few times before bed. “No Mummy!” I was also expecting the usual 10 minute call from Jamie asking for his dodo, but no. The two of them were conked out.

So that’s the secret! Make sure that they are completely exhausted for the first few nights and you won’t have any problems with taking away the dummy. We are now on day four and to be honest, I think he’s forgotten about it. Job done.

“What are we going to do about Lily and her NO!  all the time.” I asked James. “Do you think it’s just a phase?”

James burst out laughing. “A phase? She’s a woman, she’ll say no for the rest of her life!”

“Oh, ha, ha, ha!”

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