The Mummy Diaries: One baby, one threenager – Week 1

The Mummy Diaries: One baby, one threenager – Week 1

by Emma Hargan
article from Tuesday 6, August, 2019

IT’S BEEN A WEEK of ups and downs. The biggest ‘up’ – a happy 3rd birthday to our wee Prince Jamie! He had a lovely but very quiet day, playing with his new toys and eating birthday cake. With me still getting over my op, I wasn’t up to venturing out anywhere but he was more than happy getting spoiled in the house and decided we would take him out to celebrate properly when I was feeling better. The time sure is flying in. I love getting the Facebook memories but I also get so emotional when I see the size of him just three years ago and how much our lives have changed. For the better I might add!

Three years. In that time, we have managed to move house, have two babies, start a business and do a diploma. Been busy? Much!

It’s been 12 days since my op and I’m starting to feel more like myself again. My throat is still a bit sore but I’m not needing any pain relief and to be honest, it probably wouldn’t be half as sore if I rested up and stopped shouting at my son! When Jamie started the tantrums and melt downs at the terrible two stage, I kept with me the best piece of parenting advice I was ever given – It. Will. Pass. And it has, however, we are now passed the terrible two’s and into the threenager phase. 

James has been looking after the kids so I have been able to relax and get myself well again. Today has been the first day we have been back to normal. James is away back to work and I’m at home with the kids and ‘back to work’ too. It was a novelty for the kids to have me to themselves after spending the last week and a half mainly with Daddy and it was all going so well. Ah Ha.

Before having kids, I had obviously heard of the terrible two stage. I had a half idea of what to expect, like, a few tantrums when they didn’t get their own way. But sure, that’s understandable isn’t it? I mean, who doesn’t like not getting their own way? But then I realised, this is a toddler I’m dealing with now. His head spins off his shoulders when I buy the wrong custard creams out of Asda, or, I give him the blue spoon instead of the yellow one for his desert. Mmm, yeah, understandable.

 So, what’s the difference between the terrible two’s and the threenager?

A toddler going through the terrible two’s doesn’t yet have the ability to manipulate and chat you into getting what they want. A threenager does. It’s like they did some kind of baby business course and are now able to test their new found skills into getting exactly what they want. And our Jamie is a prime example of this. Jamie might not be chatting to the full extent but he most definitely understands what is being said to him. Over the last few weeks, he has become more chatty and started asking questions. It was so endearing to hear him blethering away and to be honest we were relieved to hear him speaking more. It started off while we were in the car. He would point to something and ask, “tractor?”, “Cow?”, “Sheep?”, “Car?”. All good. Next, he would say, “Tractor, you see?”, “Car, you see?” Then we moved on to, “Where are we going?”. Questions, questions. Cute right? Mmm.

Over the weekend, I was starting to feel a bit better so we decided to venture out and get the kids out of the house for a few hours. Five minutes into the car journey and Jamie says, “Where we going?”

“We’re going to the shops.” I replied. “Shops?” he says. I could see the cogs turning in Jamie’s head as he was processing this.

“Yes, we are going to get you and Lily food for your lunches and dinners”, I said.

“Food?” Jamie’s eyes lit up. “Ham, cheese?” He says with excitement.

“Yip, and ice cream!” I replied.

Jamie sat happily in the car all the way into the supermarket, while Lily spent the journey snoozing away in her car seat.

We arrived at Asda and the place was mobbed as usual, it was hard to get a car park space let alone any in the parent and baby section. It’s a nightmare when you have to try and get a baby in and out of a car seat when you’re jammed into a regular car park space, they are so tight. Even more difficult when you have two babies as you need space on both sides. This drives James mad as he hates parking the car in the supermarket car parks as people don’t give a toss about hammering their car doors up against your car. We drove around a couple of times trying to find a space out of the way, with Jamie in the background asking on repeat, “Where we going?” Eventually we managed to get a space that was well out of the way with no other cars around. Great! I ran over to the trolley bay and found a double trolley, got the kids seated in and headed into the store.

The place was so packed you would think it was Christmas. Jamie and Lily were happy sitting up high looking around them while me and James maneuvered our way round the store and got the food shop. We made our way to the frozen section and I was putting all the usual stuff into the trolley and then we headed to the last bit of tins, cereals etc. This was when it happened. We literally crossed the aisle from the frozen section to the cereals and Jamie started to get upset. He was pointing and getting annoyed.

“What is it?” I asked Jamie anxiously.

“Ice cream!” He shouts.

I couldn’t believe he knew that we had passed the frozen section with the ice cream and that I hadn’t put any into the trolley. I told Jamie in the car we would get ice cream, but I didn’t mean to buy any at the supermarket, I meant we would get some while we were out for lunch. Try explaining that to a toddler.

“No, we’re not buying ice cream here, we’ll get some at lunchtime ok.” I replied.

‘ICE. CREAM!’ He roared so loud that other people were looking around, some nodding and smiling in sympathy with the fact they were happy it was our kid that was losing their shit and not their own! My face was starting to go scarlet and I didn’t want a full-blown melt down in the store.

“Okay.” I said exasperated. It was my own fault for mentioning bloody ice cream in the first place. We turned around and I put a tub of ice cream into the trolley. Jamie looked up at me and smiled.

Disaster averted. Or so I thought.

With the shopping all loaded into the car, we decided to nip into MacDonald’s for a quick bite to eat before heading home – a Jamie favourite! The kids knew where they were when we pulled into the car park and started to get all excited. Thankfully, it was nice and quiet and James took Lily over to a table while Jamie and I headed over to the counter to order the food. I ordered our usual and we all sat down to scoff our burgers. Jamie wolfed his down that fast I hadn’t even started on mine and was still working on my milkshake.

“Was that good?” I asked him.

“Very good. Ice cream?” Jamie replied.

“No Jamie, no ice cream, we bought some in the shop so you can have some later.” I said.

“ICE. CREAM PLEEEEEEASE!” Jamie cried.

Oh. My. God.

James got up and went over to the counter and ordered the McFlurry’s.

Great. How’s he going to learn the word NO when he gets his own way all the time? I said to myself. My face must have expressed what I was thinking.

“Aw anything for a quiet life, he doesn’t understand why he can’t have ice cream now.” James said.

I was mad. But he was right.

That evening, after the kids had spent the afternoon playing in the garden with their toys and James and I were doing jobs around the house, Jamie lands in and says, “Hungry.”

James said he would fix the kids something light to eat before bed so I could get on finishing tidying upstairs. Excellent! I was half way through sorting out Lily’s wardrobe.

Twenty minutes later and I landed downstairs to silence. They must still be eating I thought as I walked into the kitchen. There was Jamie wolfing a bowl of ice cream into him!

“James, what’s Jamie doing eating ice cream, he had some at lunch time?!” I said shaking my head.

“Oh god, I forgot! He finished his toast and asked for ice cream so I just didn’t think!” James replied knowing rightly that Jamie had pulled a fast one!

We both looked at Jamie who was scoffing the ice cream down so fast it wasn’t touching the sides, then he put his bowl into the sink, wiped his face and looked up at me and smiled.

You want to know the difference between the terrible two’s and a threenager?

A threenager remembers. A threenager is an ace negotiator. A threenager NEVER forgets what you say. They seem to have an amazing ability to detect when you are about to completely lose your shit and they will turn and say, “love you Mummy.”

All is forgiven.

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