The Mummy Diaries: Two babies – Week 49

The Mummy Diaries: Two babies – Week 49

by Emma Hargan
article from Tuesday 28, May, 2019

AND JUST LIKE THAT, it’s gone from bog to blog. Yes, I have spent yet another week pretty much in the toilet. Not that I’m complaining, I think we have got the toilet training done now as Jamie has gone from not wanting to go to the toilet to now wanting to go to every toilet within a 50 mile radius. When I’m not in the toilet watching Jamie, I’m cleaning up the mess because, as you can imagine – little boys have no control over where they pee at this stage. 

Thankfully, this week we are more back to normal and everyone is back to full health. I got asked this week why most of my blogs are about Jamie. I spent some time looking back and realised that most of them were indeed about Jamie. I think the thing is, with Jamie being the oldest, he’s my ‘trial and error’, so to speak. Every stage in his development is a new experience for me as well as for him. With Lily, I have already gone through the stages so I’m much more relaxed. This got me thinking. There are a few things that no one tells you about having a second child. In my experience, it’s not the same as your first and here’s why.

Pregnancy Stage.

You forget that your pregnant until week 35 and you are trying to cart a stubborn, struggling toddler up the stairs to bed while sporting a huge bump and swollen feet. 

The hospital bag you had prepared after your first scan with pregnancy number one which was packed with the kitchen sink and then unpacked and packed again is a distant memory. Round two and you just throw your shit into a bag, some nappies, wipes and a couple of baby grows and vests. Job done.

With your first born, you have a birthing plan. All natural, no drugs, you’ll want your husband involved with everything. Round two? Elective cesarean section, all the drugs going and the only birthing plan and involvement you’ll want from your husband is that he definitely gets a chocolate milkshake with your Big Mac meal afterwards.

You will feel loads worse the second pregnancy around. Not only because your older but because you are bending, lifting, struggling and fighting with your first little time bomb. They are sweet and loveable one minute and then they unexpectedly explode the next because you asked them to put socks on.

New Born Stage.

You will forget. You need to YouTube how the steriliser and the bottle prepping machine works again. You threw out the instructions the first time around because let’s face it, you could do it in your sleep. 

How did I clean their belly button again? 

How many ounces of milk should they be getting? It hasn’t even been 24 months – how is it possible to forget all these things? 

The through the night wake up calls. The second time around you can’t nap during the day when the baby sleeps (does anyone ever actually do this?) because you have to wrestle with a 3 foot tall streaker standing at the living room window flashing at all the neighbours! Just when you master the sleeping through the night, they go through a sleep regression and successfully wake up your toddler in the process. Thank God we bought that King Size bed!

Thereafter Stage.

You will be 200 per cent more chilled and relaxed about, well, everything. The baby’s room might not be finished in time, but sure they can sleep on the mattress on the floor until it’s done. 

– She’s been in the walker for over an hour. 

– I just realised, I haven’t bathed her in a week. 

– She can watch another half an hour of Finding Nemo while I get the hoovering done. 

– She’s been in the pushchair for an hour without a blanket – it’ll toughen her up. 

All the things you fussed about with your first born are no longer issues because they will survive!

Meeting New Parents.

This will drive you up the wall. Even though this was you a year or two ago. What kind of travel system do I need? The cheapest one because you will buy it and use it twice. It’s just easier to carry the baby in the car seat. 

Next up, don’t raise your voice and tip toe around the baby. What new parents don’t understand is that your baby will sleep through the tv being on full blast, a toddler screaming next to them, the hoover going, basically a nuclear explosion. Mummy sits down with a cup of tea and the wee eyes open quicker than you can say ‘For fox ache!’ 

It takes an hour to leave the house because you have to pack every item imaginable in the nappy changing bag in case of any eventuality. 

Don’t hold the baby and drink a hot cup of tea. Absolutely not! I couldn’t possibly! Besides, I wouldn’t be able to drink tea while holding the baby in one arm, firing dinner in the oven with the other and holding my toddler back from crawling into the oven with my leg! 

Honestly, babies are not made of glass – but you can’t tell a new Mummy that.

The First Born.

I’d love to meet these people you see on Facebook and Instagram that put the videos up of their kids meeting their new baby brother or sister for the first time. You know the ones where they gently climb up on the hospital bed beside mummy and stroke the baby’s head and kiss them on the forehead. Then the video skips to them holding the baby and smiling and… Oh what a pile of crap! Jamie didn’t even acknowledge Lily existence until she was at least six months old! 

The first meeting with my two? Jamie was more interested in eating my grapes and chocolates and running about the ward looking cheeky and cute so all the other mummies gave him sweets. Baby sister? Err what baby sister?

I suppose the reason we forget about these stages is because it feels never ending when you are up at 3am to do the feed, or you are on your second change of clothing today because you have been peed on. The thing is, the time passes so quickly, you are on to the next stage without even realising it. I suppose I write more about Jamie because each stage is new, but I can honestly say that because of Jamie, I’m enjoying my baby experience with Lily even more. I’ve learned to appreciate the middle of the night cuddles, I don’t get hung up so much on having the house ‘perfect’ as I would rather spend my time playing. I’ve realised that I can’t fix everything and take away their teething pains or tummy aches and all I can do sometimes is be there and comfort them through it.

So far for me, the best thing about having a second child is watching the friendship and bond build between the two of them. It’s taken a while to get to this stage but it’s lovely to watch them playing together or Jamie doing a stupid dance to make Lily laugh. It doesn’t happen overnight and they will have their bad days as well, but the more time passes, the less they need entertained as they entertain each other. In the mornings now, Jamie is happy to play in his room with his toys or reading books. Lily is not at this stage yet but I’d say it won’t be long before the two of them are keeping each other occupied.

I’m looking forward to the next stage. You know, the one where they get up and make you breakfast in bed, dust and hoover the house, put a washing on and all the other delightful things kids do that no one ever tells you about. Yeah, well, I’ll settle for aiming the pee in the toilet for now I think!

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