The Mummy Diaries: Two babies – Week 46

The Mummy Diaries: Two babies – Week 46

by Emma Hargan
article from Tuesday 7, May, 2019

TWO BIG MILESTONES hit in the Hargan household this week! Lily is now officially on the move. She has been managing to roll about everywhere up to now but she has mastered the crawling and there is no stopping her. Jamie watch out! And the boy? What a superstar. Making the toilet training easy for me!

This is our second attempt at the toilet training and this time around, it seems to be going so well. Granted, it’s only been a week, but Jamie is no longer in nappies at all during the day and the accidents are becoming less and less as each day passes. In fact, dare I say, he’s been in the same pair of pants all day today!

From day one, we ditched the nappies and put the pants on. I had made sure I had nothing planned for the week so we could stay in the house and nail the training this time. Jamie straight away loved having the freedom of no nappy on and was even more delighted to be running around the house without wearing any trousers. Well, I figured I was going to have enough washing to do with pants, bedsheets, rugs, sofas – pretty much every surface in the house. I set a tune on my phone to go off every 20 minutes. I took Jamie to the toilet every time the tune went off and sat him on for a few minutes at a time. By the end of the first morning, I was ready to jack in the training altogether and scream. 

Jamie was really good at going to the toilet but he just sat there and did nothing. Then, five minutes after putting his pants back on, he would run through to the sitting room and pee. And not in the same spot every time either – like other parents would tell me their kid did. No, not our Jamie. He peed on the sofa, on the rug, on the wooden floor, in the corner and I even caught him trying to hit the fireplace! Oh. My. God.

Spoiler alert! Now I’m about to talk shit. ‘Well what’s new?’ I hear you say! No literally talk about shit. (Just in case you’re about to eat your lunch!)

I’ve read up a lot on how to train an almost three-year-old, stubborn toddler. There are plenty minefields when it comes to training. The most common issue most parents seem to have is their toddler is a ‘Holder-Inner’. This means the toddler has no problems peeing on the toilet but they won’t do a number 2 until the nappy goes on at night. 

Hmm, it would be nice to have that problem. Jamie is far from a ‘Holder-Inner’ more like a wee ‘Shitter Everywherer!’

By Monday lunchtime, while I was on my hands and knees cleaning the rug that had just been shat on, I was actually contemplating putting Jamie into creche full-time until he was toilet trained. The thing with toddler poop is, it’s not like baby poop that’s bearable to clean and doesn’t smell so bad. By this stage, this is full blown, eye-watering, Jurassic Park-sized poop that makes you wonder if your little cherub is even human and makes you panic slightly as it’s quite possible they’ve lost half a stone in the process.

Before I was about to throw in the towel altogether and put the training off again as Jamie wasn’t ready, I decided that I would see out the day at least. I let Jamie have his lunch in peace and gave him ten minutes play before taking him to the toilet. I sat him on and stood with anticipation again. I’ve never been so happy to hear the sound of pee! I think Jamie actually got a wee fright when I started jumping up and down, doing a stupid happy dance and praising him to no end over what he’d done. I finished off the praise then with a bit of Easter egg and I think that’s when the penny dropped. Jamie’s eyes lit up. Brilliant – progress!

I then got Jamie upstairs to his room and into bed for his afternoon nap. He only sleeps for an hour or so, usually, so I left him in his pants and hoped for the best but planned for the worst. I was expecting him to wake up crying after 20 minutes having soaked himself. But 20 minutes passed and silence. An hour passed and nothing. After an hour and a half, I was pushing it. I went upstairs, woke Jamie up and lifted him through to the toilet as quick as possible. The wee soul was sitting half asleep and within seconds started peeing. He looked up at me and smiled while I was doing my stupid happy dance again. When we got back downstairs, I gave Jamie another small piece of Easter egg again.

By the end of day one, Jamie had mastered going to the bathroom every 20 minutes and while he didn’t ‘go’ every time, he held on until it was time. Success.

Day two was even better. A couple of accidents in the morning but I think it was because he would get anxious about hearing the tune and getting to the toilet on time that he couldn’t quite make it. Again, by the afternoon he was flying and woke from his nap all dry and was going to the toilet every 20 minutes.

Day three and I set the timer for every 30 minutes. Jamie was starting to go the odd time on his own without my phone going off. I nearly fainted when he ran passed me and Lily shouting “pee pee!” and climbed up on the step, sat on the toilet and pooped! If anyone had seen me, they would have thought I was having some kind of fit. I gave him a huge piece of Easter egg and made a big song and dance out of it. Jamie was as proud as punch and started singing the alphabet song.

Not only has Jamie come on with the toilet training, he’s really starting to chat a lot more the last couple of weeks. He knows the whole alphabet, he can count up to 30 and he’s starting to ask for things like juice, apple, banana and chocolate. He says ‘pee pee’ when he needs to go and then ‘finished’ when he wants help getting off the toilet. Then ‘chocolate’ whether he’s done anything or not! 

Yes – it was all going so well!

Friday evening and James arrived home from work and we all sat down to have dinner and I was telling him how good Jamie had been again and he was still in the same pants as I put on him this morning. “That’s brilliant!” James said, “I’m going upstairs to finish that tiling in the bathroom, I’ll take Jamie up with me and he can play in his room.”

“That would be great so I can spend a bit of time with Lily. You need to set the timer on your phone for 30 minutes and keep an eye on him then.” I said.

“No bother!” James replied.

And so it followed, all was quiet upstairs and I could hear Jamie singing away so I left them to it until it was time for Jamie’s bath. I shouted James down to watch Lily so I could go up and start running Jamie’s bath. I walked into Jamie’s room and that’s when the smell hit me. I looked down and Jamie was lying down on the floor, cuddling his teddy. His pants were ready to explode with poop, which had by this point hit his socks, his trainers, the teddy, the carpet – you get the idea.

“Oh. My. God!” I roared.

“What’s happened?!” James shouts from downstairs.

“Aw Jamie’s had an accident!” I exclaimed.

“Oh that’s a shame!” James shouts, “Maybe I should have checked on him before I came downstairs.”

“No shit!” I cried.

“Ah well, if he’s only peed that’s not so bad!” James replied.

“This is no time to be making crap jokes!” I said.

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