The Mummy Diaries: Two babies – Week 41

The Mummy Diaries: Two babies – Week 41

by Emma Hargan
article from Tuesday 2, April, 2019

I DON’T KNOW if the creators of Disney Pixar are lifesavers or need to be shot. I mean, Finding Nemo has been a God send with my two and gives me a few moments peace when I have dinner to make, or housework to do, or just chill and have a cup of coffee. On the other hand, if I have to sing ‘Just keep swimming, just keep swimming’ one more time, I think I might drown myself!

Last week, when I was on my fifth re-run of ‘Just keep swimming’ I actually thought, maybe this isn’t such a bad idea. No, not drown myself but actually start swimming. I have been moaning for ages that I need to get back to doing some exercise but never having a minute to myself. Between having a few bottles glasses of wine and several one bag of crisps the odd night, I am feeling it in my clothes. So, I made a plan to wait until James comes home from work and I’ll have the dinner ready so all he has to do is feed the kids and get them ready for bed and I should be home to put them down. I can then run on to the swimming pool for an hour and do as many lengths as I can manage in that time. Yes, so, if I do that three times a week, I should be back on track and be able to have my wee treats at the weekend. Great plan!

Monday – swimming bag packed. Kids changed, pyjamas laid out and dinner made. James arrived home at the usual time, so all on track. I didn’t want to seem too keen on leaving him with the kids so I let him get his jacket off before I swiped the car keys out of his hand, while explaining dinner was in the oven on the way out of the door.

Ah, this is lovely. I know I’m going to do exercise, but just the notion of having an hour to myself was the most relaxing thing in the world! 

I arrived at the pool and it was lovely and quiet. I quickly got changed and glanced at the clock – 6.30pm. Right, let’s see how many lengths I can do an in hour? 

10 minutes later…

Jesus! I don’t remember swimming being this tough! I was going flat to the mat right enough and doing the breaststroke so I didn’t look like I was drowning. 10 lengths done and I need a break. The next minute, a large group of fit trainee lifeguards arrive and get into the pool to do some training. I thought I’d better get on with my lengths so I didn’t lose my space in the pool (or look uncool!)

Another 10 minutes later…

Oh – my – God! I thought I would look really impressive and cram in another 20 lengths, but am finding it hard to breath, let alone look cool. Saved by the bell! 7.00pm and it was time for aqua aerobics. This meant the pool was now closed off to swimmers but I could join the class if I wanted too. At this point I thought it best to leave it for the night as it was my first time back at swimming and I didn’t want to do too much.

I climbed out of the pool, got showered and changed and was back in the car for 7.20pm. Great stuff, I’ll be home in plenty time to get the kids into bed. Then I can put my feet up. Ha!

I arrived home to hear Jamie roaring his head off from the front garden. I could see Finding Nemo was on again and I hadn’t even walked through the door yet…

To say the house looked like something out of Beirut would be an understatement. Jamie was running around in the nude and squealing. Lily had her pyjama bottoms on but no top. The dinner dishes were still lying in the sink and every toy that Jamie and Lily owned was scattered across the floor in each room downstairs.

“For fox ache!” I exclaimed. 

“Oh don’t chat to me!” James roared, “They have been a nightmare since you left!”

Great. We then spent the next hour and a half getting the kids to bed and tidying up the pigsty that was our house. All for 30 minutes in the swimming pool? Back to the drawing board.

The following morning and my back and legs were killing me. Brilliant. This is why I don’t do exercise. I now have to run about after Jamie and Lily all day walking about like John Wayne! So, swimming didn’t work. I’ll start running. What I’ll do, is set the alarm in the morning and head out before James and the kids are up and no one will see me tramping about the streets (in the non-prostitute sense!) Excellent. Will need to leave it a couple of days though as I can’t even walk properly at the moment, let alone run.

Friday morning – 6.30am. Alarm ringing. I’d like to tell you that I leapt out of bed all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. More like crawled out of bed and left the house looking like I’d been dragged through a hedge backwards! It was fine, 6.30am in the morning so who is going to see me?

I walked briskly up past the end of the housing estate before reaching the main road and started my run. Daylight was just breaking and the road was deserted. Perfect. I actually managed to run steady a lot further than I thought I would. I looked down at my phone and it was 7.00am. I thought I better head home and get back before James left for work in half an hour. I reached the main road again and the road was bumper to bumper with cars of people heading to work. Shit! I had to now run faster so that no one would recognise me looking like an asthmatic buffalo being chased by a lion. At this point I couldn’t stop running as I would look a total tube in front of the drivers. 

On the up side, I made it home in 15 minutes. I carefully put the key in the door and quietly let myself in so as to not disturb the kids. I saw James in the kitchen and was trying to scrape the hair back and look all fresh faced when I hadn’t noticed Lily’s walker lying in the middle of the hall and I fell arse-over-tit across the top of it. Crash! Kids are up now then!

“Fox ache!” I shouted.

“Oh my God, are you okay?” James says while picking me up off the floor.

“That’s it!” I balled.

Friday night. That evening I got the kids down to bed and I threw myself down on the sofa and rested my sore back and sore legs from swimming and my twisted ankle from the walker incident.

“You going for a run again in the morning?” James asked.

“Exercise is bad for your health, I’ll have a glass of wine and a bag of crisps though!”

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