The Mummy Diaries: pregnancy week 34

The Mummy Diaries: pregnancy week 34

by Emma Hargan
article from Monday 14, May, 2018

ANOTHER WEEK, another hospital visit, another screaming match, lots of cuddles, lots of tears, lots of washing and loads of sensible conversation!

Our bank holiday Monday was a great start to the week. The weather couldn’t have been better. We spent the day in the garden playing football, having a picnic and just chilling, enjoying the sun. James and I took Jamie out later for a walk to tire him out and after I put Jamie down for his afternoon nap, I was able to get another load of washing hung out, put my feet up and relax with a tonic (a gin would have been preferable) – while thinking to myself, “I’ve got this baby thing sorted, we’re just like the Waltons, this is what it’s all about.” It’s amazing how a bit of sun can momentarily fry your brain!

The following morning James went off to work and it was back to our usual routine. After a lovely day and a bit of sun from the day before, I was feeling positive and full of energy. Once past getting the wee man dressed for the day and the usual row over wearing socks, I managed to get most of the housework done before lunch and then get out for a walk – which seemed to work well yesterday! 

We got half way up the road and Jamie decided he wasn’t going home and had a major meltdown in the middle of the street. I only had the reigns with me and no buggy, so it looked like a scene out of ‘The Deadliest Catch’. Me being the waddling beached whale and Jamie getting dragged behind me. Of course, all the neighbours were out washing their cars or cutting their grass and although they all smiled and waved, I knew they must have been thinking, “that women needs to get her shit together!”

Okay, never mind, I’ll get Jamie down for his nap and put my feet up and have a nap too. Thankfully, he fell asleep as soon as he got into the cot – result! I made a cup of tea and was about to shut my eyes when this overwhelming smell of puke hit me. I checked the cushions, the carpet and then noticed a lovely barf mark down one of the curtains that cost a fortune out of Next. Okay, no problem. After 10 minutes of trawling through my husband’s stuff, I found a screwdriver and managed to get the curtains down. A bit of scrubbing and some Vanish (to disguise the smell) later, I hung the curtains over the table to dry, threw myself onto the sofa when I heard Jamie had woken and was crying to be lifted. No nap today then.

As the afternoon went on, the stain on the curtains wasn’t drying and was now just a huge watermark. On further inspection of the label I hadn’t read beforehand, it stated ‘dry clean only’. Shit! I frantically pulled the other curtain down before James was about to walk in, as it took me a while to justify why I had spent a fortune on ‘good curtains’, I didn’t want to have to now explain I have actually just destroyed them because I didn’t read the label!

Of course when James walked in I hadn’t noticed that in my urgency to get the other curtain down, I had managed to pull the rawplug out of the wall, which left a gaping hole with James roaring “what the hell happened in here!” By this stage, I was so hacked off, I just roared back “everyone else has blinds, I’m sick of cleaning bloody curtains!”

So to the next morning, and after the events of the day before I was actually looking forward to my hospital appointment. It was just a routine check up, scan and blood test but to me it felt like I was on my way to the Spa while I left James and Jamie watching Finding Dory for the umpteenth time so far that week. Before I left, I had prepared fruit and Jamie’s lunch and was trying to explain to James all he needed to do was heat up the lunch, change him and put him down for a nap – but I might as well have talked to the wall as James just rolled his eyes and told me to stop worrying and go. Great, freedom! 

The appointment started off well with my scan. The wee one was doing great and measuring big, but still within the normal range, thank goodness. As usual with hospitals, there was a delay with the doctor, so I had to wait a while before I could be seen. I thought I’d give James a quick ring to see how things were going. Unfortunately, when he answered I couldn’t hear anything over Jamie squealing and then the phone going dead. All was normal then.

By the time I got home, I had been over four hours. When I walked into the house, I actually thought we had been robbed! There were toys everywhere, Jamie was running around with no socks or trousers on and James was in the kitchen wiping what I was hoping was chocolate, off the cupboard door and nothing else! 

I looked into the fridge and the fruit and lunch I had prepared was still there. I asked James what they had had for lunch? He replied it was easier just to have Nutella on toast. He also mentioned that there was something wrong with our son and as he was hyper all the time and is just on a mission to wreck the house! I replied there is nothing wrong with him and that if all I had to eat was bloody Nutella toast, I would be running around on a sugar high, wrecking the place too! 

“Oh and by the way, what’s for dinner?” I thought James was going to explode with frustration!

Later that evening, after getting Jamie settled and into his cot, I came downstairs to find James crashed out on the sofa. I couldn’t help but smile and think to myself, ‘I bet he can’t wait to get back to work tomorrow’.

It’s hard work being a mummy for the day!


ThinkScotland exists thanks to readers' support - please donate in any currency and often

Follow us on Facebook and Twitter & like and share this article
To comment on this article please go to our facebook page